I tutor English Language and am life coach. So I am very interested in language use. In particular, I am fascinated by how the language we use around children affects the way they perceive themselves and others. First, let’s explore a little some ideas I have come across recently. These are approaches that encourage your child to be resilient. Second, we’ll look at using gender-neutral language. Through this approach, you allow your children to believe in themselves, due to avoiding gender bias.
Growth Mindset is a theory from educational practice that states that children should not be praised for what they achieve, but how hard they work. Some people think this is impractical. They believe giving praise to children who never achieve high grades is creating an unrealistic view of the world for those children. However, my response to this view is twofold. Firstly, I believe strongly that the people making these claims do not understand growth mindset theory. Secondly, they also do not understand the potential damage done to the children’s confidence. If children get consistently low grades and also see others being praised instead of them, this increasingly makes them feel worse about themselves.
Growth Mindset is saying “Well done for completing all the questions” when a child works slowly and doesn’t normally finish. It’s saying “Excellent! You remembered your folder today!” when a child manages to get organised, who doesn’t normally manage this. Growth Mindset literally makes kids want to keep doing the things you are praising them for. Then it starts to become automatic and you can start to set them new goals. “George, well done for remembering your folder today. Tomorrow I’d like to see you remember your homework!”
Praise your kids who don’t normally do their chores, when they do them. Growth mindset is almost like the opposite of nagging. Children love praise. Nobody likes to be told off, but it is necessary sometimes. However, try to limit your nagging or telling off to a ratio of 1:5 – with 5 lots of praise for every nag! Use language like: “Well done for being kind to your sister and sharing with her” or “Great job that you wiped your feet before coming in today!” In particular, with education, you can praise children for completing their homework and taking an interest in their after-school clubs.
A little goes a long way! They will start to believe in themselves!
Don’t say to your kids “I wasn’t any good at maths, ask ____”. Studies have shown that kids can interpret this as “Well if Mum / Dad isn’t good at this, how will I be?” You can be a language role model by saying to your kids: “Okay, shall we research this online and see what we can find?” or “Do you find maths harder than other subjects? Do you want a tutor to support you and make you really confident?” This way, you are actively helping to find a solution without putting yourself down. You are not telling your child “I feel anxious about this and can’t help”.
Many studies have shown how little girls mostly get compliments that reflect their appearance. For example: “you’re so pretty” or “your dress is beautiful”. Boys, on the other hand, get complimented on how well they do things, rather than expressing their emotions or how they look. To improve your daughter’s chances of doing well, praise her for things that she accomplishes as well as how she looks! Likewise, boost your son’s confidence by commented on both his great achievements and decisions, but also how well he expressed his feelings.
This is just a whistle-stop tour of how language can help your child. If you are looking for coaching or a tutor to help boost your child’s confidence, then drop me a message to see if I can help! Email hello@bexharper.com for more information.
It’s time to revise! Don’t panic! Check out:
Good luck! 🙂
A cast of around 30 men and women from their mid to late twenties and ……!
Seated, facing a screen, wide-eyed in anticipation. Unsure what the next 8
weeks will involve. A plethora of bodice-ripping tear- jerkers? A potted history
of the world courtesy of the film industry? Think what the film ‘Troy’ did for
our knowledge of the magnificent Greek civilisation hmm?!
Our Director/Producer Bex whose in-depth enlightenment of how film
techniques are used to portray events, emotions, relationships and
environments ensured that we will probably never view a film in quite the
same way.
Bex helped us to really see the importance of things that we may not have
noticed in our viewing. For example, so many different camera angles used as
devices to show so much more than the things in shot, such as the
power/vulnerability of characters, historical setting, and of course emotions.
She chose 4 films for scrutiny. The first being Howard’s End, which we soon
realised was so much more that a beautifully filmed rural idyll and which some
might call a stereotypical nostalgic film?
Secondly, and about as different from Howard’s End as you could choose, was
the brilliant Good Bye Lenin!, a film set in the last years of the GDR ,when
history was being made, but focussing on the life of one family. Bex’s guidance
through this film showed us how a film can show nostalgia and heritage in such
a very powerful way that the viewer can identify with even though the events
were far removed from their own lives. It was a film that was a great discovery
for most of us and during the 4 weeks we studied it, I for one couldn’t wait for
the next session.
After a session viewing clips from, and discussing The Help – a film set in the
south of the US around the time of the Civil Rights movement, we moved on to
our final film The King’s Speech, set in the years leading up to WW2 and
centred on the future King’s struggles to master a speech impediment which
could hinder his role as sovereign.
Our sessions were so much more than us, as the audience, viewing while the
Director Bex led – we broke off into small groups for discussion and then
regrouped to share our views after each clip. This technique enabled us to
pursue in depth what nostalgia and heritage in film meant, not only to us, but
in the portrayal of life events in film.
A thoroughly enjoyable and enlightening course.
Bex Harper Tutoring & Coaching will be closed for the Easter break between Saturday 6th April and Monday 22nd April 2019 (inclusive). There will be no tutoring lessons or coaching sessions during this period, as Bex and our administrator, Hannah, will also be out of the office, on annual leave.
If you need to contact us via text or email or send homework via email, you shall receive a response on Tuesday 23rd April, when we resume our normal business opening hours. Many thanks for your patience.
Good luck with your exam revision over the Easter period! Don’t forget to build in little tea breaks to eat those lovely Easter eggs!
Bex Harper Tutoring and Coaching wishes you a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year and a fantastic 2019! We will be closed on the following dates:
22nd December 2018 to 2nd January 2019 (inclusive)
If you need to contact us via text or email, you shall receive a response on 3rd January.
Spelling is one of the fundamental elements in primary education that kids are faced with. Examined on the SATs papers in Year 6, through to being part of the marking criteria for GCSE, spelling matters. Create a regular routine of getting your child to sit down and learn the spellings. Whether it be by writing them out, or saying the letters of the words in funny voices, it needs to be done. Here are some spooky suggestions to get you started for the half-term break!
Check back each week for regular resources – for both spelling and maths!
If you are needing more help with English or maths, have a look at getting a tutor!
Bex Harper Tutoring and Coaching is launching some new group coaching workshops for this summer – one is aimed at children going into Years 5-7 and the other is aimed at parents who have children of all ages. Please feel free to get in touch with any questions you might have. See below for full details!
Studying for the 11+, doing SATS and starting secondary school can be immensely stressful for many children. This workshop looks at the key skills children going into Years 5-7 must develop to be able to increase their chances of success at secondary level. I have closely observed both the relationship between language, beliefs and actions in my coaching practice and the patterns of achievement being closely linked positive mindsets as a private tutor, school teacher and lecturer.
This coaching programme, aimed at students about to go into Years 5-7, is suitable for those high flyers who suffer from feeling anxious or worried about their performance and making mistakes, as well as those who feel that they are unprepared to begin their secondary adventure.
The workshop will:
This workshop only has a very limited number of places, so make sure to book well in advance.
Dates and times: Wednesday 29th August 2018 (2.00pm -5.00pm)
This workshop is designed specifically for parents who want to know how best to encourage and assist with their child’s learning and educational growth. I have closely observed both the relationship between language, beliefs and actions in my coaching practice and the patterns of achievement being closely linked positive mindsets as a private tutor, school teacher and lecturer. Because of this, and because no-one is too old to learn and grow, I have constructed this workshop specifically for parents who wish to aid their children.
We will:
This workshop only has a very limited number of places, so make sure to book well in advance.
Dates and times: Wednesday 29th August 2018 (6.00pm -9.00pm)
Location: The Tuition Pod, at The Holy Trinity Church Hall in Southchurch
Investment: £35.00 for each workshop
For enquiries or to book your place, please email: workshops@bexharper.com
Please also check out my workshop for students in Years 10-13!
N.B. For the workshops to go ahead, there must be at least 4 people registered on each one.
Lots of people suffer with exam stress and anxiety but here are a few ways you can help prepare yourself for exam season. If you are in the midst of university finals, GCSE and A-Level exams, or if your children are preparing for the 11+ exams, there are a few things to keep in mind:
Good luck and please feel free to get in touch if you feel you would benefit from tutoring or coaching by emailing me: hello@bexharper.com
N.B. Whilst I am an experienced tutor, teacher and coach, I am not a therapist, counsellor or mental health professional. If you are concerned about your mental health, always speak to your doctor, or if you are having suicidal thoughts, please contact a suicide helpline.