• +44 7526938805
  • hello@bexharper.com

Tag Archive gratitude

glasses onto of a laptop to indicate taking a break, resting, and self-care is happening rather than work

Why are we burning ourselves out?

I’ve previously written a number of posts about health and wellbeing. However, there is still one thing that baffles me: why are we burning ourselves out? Well, for one thing, our fast-paced modern society expects everything to happen immediately. We want that person to respond to our text or to get things done all at once. But, unfortunately, one thing that hasn’t changed: there are only 24 hours in a day!

Over the past 10 years, I’ve taken numerous steps to trying to improve my wellbeing and quality of life. I’ve given up drinking caffeine, set regular goals to be sure I am going in the right direction. I’ve decluttered my life significantly to only keep the things that make me happy. In fact, you could say, I’ve done it all. But I’ve noticed, through coaching others and my own journey one thing in particular. This is how, once high achievers finish one goal, they go onto the next one without taking the time to appreciate what they have accomplished. Subsequently, many high achievers find themselves burnt out, developing chronic illnesses or even life-threatening illnesses, such as cancer or heart disease.

So what’s the solution? Well, there is no one or easy answer to this. But definitely getting to grips with the stressors in your life; carving out free-time to get a clearer work-life balance and celebrating your achievements can all help. A journal or workbook can help.

Here are some suggestions for journaling to helping you achieve this:
  1. What are you grateful for today?
  2. What self-care are you going to do for yourself tomorrow?
  3. What would you really like to be praised for today?
  4. How can you be forgiving today?
  5. Which tasks can you delegate, delete or delay?
  6. Will the world end if I take today or tomorrow off work?

These can be powerful questions for helping you to run a business, pass exams, manage a project, or just cope with a job that you hate. It’s important to enjoy your life. Life is short and no-one died saying they wish they worked more hours! So, if you are really struggling, reach out to friends, family, a therapist or life/business coach and see how you can get the support you need.

Like most therapists have their own therapists, most coaches have their own coaches. I could have coaching on anything, but I specific choose to focus on health and wellbeing in my sessions with my coach, because I feel that once you are feeling energetic, healthy and calm, the rest falls into place: be that your business, your love life, your parenting, your job. In order to do any of these well, you must be well. So, for me personally, health and wellbeing are a must.

Good luck, and if you do decide you would life to try a discovery coaching session, drop me an email: hello@bexharper.com – I look forward to hearing from you.

Morning Success: How to Start your Day with Joy and Gratitude

So every morning I have a three-part routine. Inspired by the likes of Tony Robbins and Hal Elrod, I developed a routine that works for me. Elrod has a five-part routine which consists of silence (meditation), affirmations, visualisations, exercise, reading and scribing. Whilst he says to just do each one for 5 minutes (i.e a 30 minute routine), I find it hard to switch between tasks due to my dyslexia, so I felt his routine was a bit too complicated for most non-neurotypicals.

I therefore started my own take on this.

Mediation

I began my routine of meditating by using Headspace’s app, which gives you 10 days for free. This was the easiest for me to do, as I was able to be reminded by my phone. But once my free trial was up, I had to get creative if I was going to continue without spending money on this new habit. So, I spent some time searching for mediations online that made me feel comfortable and arranged them in a playlist in order of length. I did this so that even if I didn’t feel like meditating or didn’t feel like I had time to meditate, I would still do a minute or two. Here is that playlist. 

Hearing affirmations whilst exercising

Standing in front of the mirror ready to tell yourself that you are amazing can be very awkward, weird or even downright creepy for some people. I would also imagine that the idea of doing affirmations does not really excite most people. For me, it was also about time spent on this task. Therefore, I decided to do my 5 minutes of yoga whilst listening to tracks that did the affirmations for me. There are three that I use, depending on my mood. I have one for gratitude, one for financial affirmations, and one for general affirmations, depending on what has come up for me during my meditation. For example, if I find during my meditation that my mind is wandering towards worrying about finance then I choose the financial affirmations. I sometimes just listen, and other times I repeat the affirmations after I hear them. Particularly if I hear something that I do not yet believe to be true (either because it isn’t or because I am having trouble accepting it).

A jazz or story-time breakfast

I then go and make my breakfast and whilst I slowly savour my first meal of the day, I try to remain grateful that I am one of the lucky people in the world to wake up with food in the fridge / cupboard. I usually have a pink grapefruit and toast, muesli with fruit, or porridge with cinnamon. During this, I listen to one of the audiobooks I am currently enjoying or my cheerful jazz playlist. I then write my ‘Most Important Tasks’ list for the day, if i didn’t do it the night before. And then I kick-start my day!

This whole experience takes me between 30 and 60 minutes, depending on how much time I spend on each, but if I wanted to meditate for just a minute and then only do 3 minutes of yoga with affirmations, I would be able to do it in 15 minutes, including eating my breakfast.

Everyone has 15 minutes in the morning to take care of their needs. Invest in your own growth. Treat yourself to time to be alone with yourself and your thoughts. No-one else will.

You can set up your business with some business coaching

8 Simple Ways to Make Your Weekday Mornings Easier – Morning Lifehacks

More often than not in today’s fast-paced, commuter society, we hit our snooze button, go back to sleep and then wake up in a panic, wondering where our clean clothes are, and run out the door 10 minutes late, in a panic. So here are eight simple ways you can make your day a much easier start.

1. Stretch, Rise and Hydrate

As soon as your alarm goes off, stretch under the covers and stand upright. Have a bottle or glass of water next to your bed, ready to drink. You’ve been dehydrating yourself for about 7 or 8 hours, so it is important to refill on water before hitting that cup of tea or coffee. This entire routine only takes 1 minute and you will feel better for doing it! More long-term, it could help to give up caffeine.

 

2.  Organising Your Attire

If you haven’t already read my post on a Capsule Wardrobe, it might be worth a peek. Having similar or the same outfits for the working week can significantly reduce stress and allow you to get ready without thinking too much about what to wear. Either lay your chosen outfit out the night before, or take a good 20 minutes out of your Sunday evening to arrange 5 outfits for the week ahead.

 

3. Have a Workbag Packed

Have one bag for work, keep it filled with all the essentials you know you will need, and unpack anything you don’t need as soon as you get home. Make a healthy lunch (leftovers are perfect) the night before and have it ready in the fridge to grab in the morning.


4. Take Time for Breakfast

Breakfast can be a good “me time” if you allow it. Set aside at least 15 minutes to get a healthy breakfast such as porridge, fresh fruit, a smoothie, toast with a healthy topping, or whole-grain cereal or musli topped with banana. You can use this time to stare at your dream board, read a blog or the newspaper, or listen to your favourite audio book.

 

 

5. Clean Your Teeth in the Shower

Want to spend more time under the lovely refreshing water, but need to get out and clean your teeth? Simple. Clean your teeth in the shower!

 

6. List Your M.I.Ts in Advance

If you have prioritised your Most Important Tasks the night before, it will make it easier for you in the morning if you are still feeling sluggish after your leisurely breakfast and extra-long shower.

 

7. Write Down Your Gratitude List Next to Your M.I.T list

Try to think of at least two things you are grateful for this morning and note them down. It will lead to optimism and generally make your day seem more cheery.

 

8. If You Commute To and From Work, Use That Time Wisely

Listen to music or an audio book, read a novel, journal your thoughts, plan out your  week. Write a love letter to your partner, write your ‘Be, Do, Have’ list, write a list of of all the countries you want to visit in your lifetime. Make your commute your personal development time!